yes...a lot of people have asked me that. i just don't know how to explain. over the last year, things were happening but i was just in my own nightmare...
i came back to Perth in Sept last year. got job 1 in no time. however, didn't think i'd fit in cos i didn't know the technology well enough. quit 1 mth later.
started job 2 the week after i quit job 1. was told there was to be lots of work for me. excellent (no...really!) 5 months into the job, i found myself twiddling with my thumbs a lot. there was only that much news i could read online. i kept asking for work but soon after i'd be back to twiddling. the event that tipped me over the edge was when we were given a stress management talk by a professional in the office. i found out that boredom was one kinda of stress and instantly i knew i was in this category. when we were doing the stress relief exercise (slow breathing), i felt tears building in the corner of my eyes. i was that stressed and i didn't know. one day, during my quarterly review, i just broke down in tears and cried. i left the job that day.
over the last few years, i had build up a lot of stress in me. locations, jobs, money, family, friends... many issues contributed to the level of happiness i was feeling. i used to watch/read comics or comedies and realise that i don't do that full out laugh to the jokes anymore. i felt the joke always had and underlying sadness to it. i was always sad and there were times i cried myself to sleep. i had been playing WoW everyday so time passes by quickly and i don't feel sad.
the events happened a few months after a news reader took her own life due to depression. i start to question myself if i was in depression too. i asked a good friend of mine/doctor on msn and he told me the symptoms and i felt that i totally fit that category. the day onwards, i deemed myself in depression.
to be continued...
Friday, September 26, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comments:
I know exactly what your going through, because I've been through it more then once myself.
when your in it it's pretty rough... but at least it doesn't last forever. Sometimes it feels like your all alone,and other times you just want to be alone. There are days where you'll just cry for no reason as a million thoughts, memories and emotions just rushes through you. But know that you have family and friends that care and will grab hold when you reach out for help. It can be really upsetting when people tell you it's not that bad, because to you, it is that bad. Most just don't know how to approach it. Just remember there are people all around that care and want to help, all you have to do is just reach out for them when your ready. They are just a phone call, an e-mail, a step or a car's drive away. In the mean time, take care.
Post a Comment